I hope this week finds you exposing all those places where you’ve let yourself stop believing because you think your dream is “impossible”.
I’m a Leo. I’m also a 4/6 profile in the Human Design System, which means that relationships and partnerships are very important to me.
As I move into a new phase in my life as a grandmother, I’m gaining a new awareness of how many our actions and interactions in relationships are influenced by our conditioning.
The official definition of conditioning is, “the learning process by which the behavior of an organism becomes dependent on an event occurring in its environment.”
When you expect an event to occur, you begin to prepare for it on a psychological, spiritual and emotional level. Unfortunately, many of us have a life history of experiencing events that are not based in the truth of our magnificence and the possibility of our limitless abundance.
Consequently, we are conditioned to expect punishment, suffering and lack from the world and from our relationships.
I get that this is old stuff for you guys. You all know this and I am certain that most, if not all of you, have been diligently working on “de-conditioning” yourselves for many years now.
I have, too. And, yet, in spite of all my internal searches, I still discover small and subtle places where I seemingly continue to believe in the “lies” in my consciousness.
I know that “lies” is a harsh word. But I don’t know what else to call a set of beliefs or “conditioned responses” that are not rooted in the truth of my limitless abundance and magnificence, so “lies” feels like a good word.
I also don’t want to sound like Chicken Little running around screaming that the proverbial “sky is falling”, but, the more we evolve and grow in consciousness, the more these “lies” feel the the “pea” underneath the princesses mattress. These little “lies” make the mattresses of our life, lumpy and uncomfortable.
Not only do they make us uncomfortable, if we don’t pay attention to the discomfort and make some serious changes, these “lies” will force our reality to collapse until we realign with the truth of who we are. Frankly, we don’t have a whole lot of wiggle room in pretending that we don’t know the Truth. Once you know the Truth, the door to evolution busts open and we are compelled to begin the process of “plucking the peas from under the mattress.”
The thing about conditioning is that sometimes it can be very subtle. We often don’t realize we’ve seduced ourselves with a “lie” until we’re deep in the middle of the self-deception.
One of the of the horrific gifts of parenting (and one of the reasons why evolution can become an urgent agenda when you are a parent) is that you get to see your “karmic lies” reflected back at you in the actions, choices and words of your children. Those of you who are parents, how many times have you noticed your children doing or saying something they learned from you? Have you ever watched your older children relive your karmic choices?
I have a friend whose sons have all married women with the same name as their mother. One son has married a couple of these women, all with the same first name. My oldest daughter is married to a young man with the same name as her father and struggling with many of the same money challenges I wrestled with when I was her age.
When I watch my children, sometimes it feels like I’m looking in a mirror. Through my children I see their conditioning from their life with me and their father. And I see the conditioned patterns I carry from my family as well.
When conditioned patterns are so generational and deeply ingrained in our bodies and our consciousness, they are so much a part of who we perceive ourselves to be, that they can really sneak up on us before we realize what’s happening!
Our “lies” can be family patterns that are not only ingrained in our decision-making consciousness, but in our energy fields. One of the things that I find so fascinating about Human Design is that our Human Design is inherited from our grandparents. If you know your grandparent’s birth charts, you will see that your chart is a compilation of all of those energies.
You are designed to carry the energetic patterns of your grandparents. Imagine the delicious agony of our parents (or you as a parent) when they realized that they are sandwiched between two generations who can trigger and provoke them in the same way!
Another way to think of this is you intended to be born into a family with a preset energy pattern. You picked the energetic “karma” you needed to further the evolution of your soul and your life path.
In addition to there being a genetic component to the energy we play with, we are also deeply conditioned by the energy in our families, the energies we experienced on a daily basis during our childhood. In the Human Design chart, where you have white in your chart (openness or undefined energy) is where you take energy in from the world and the people around you.
When we consistently experience other people’s energy, we get used to always experiencing that energy in our own essence. When we leave home as young adults, we commonly believe, albeit mistakenly, that we have that particular kind of energy.
For example, if you are not a particularly emotional or dramatic person but you live with emotional people, you take in that emotional energy your whole childhood. It’s hard to believe, when you leave home and enter into a new energetic world, that you are not emotional.
Even when we realize that perhaps those energies are “not us”, we are still drawn to them in relationships, over and over again until we learn to navigate our way through those energies with an evolved, higher consciousness. If you run your parent’s Human Design charts and the charts of your lovers, spouses and friends, you will see that you are usually attracted to people who have similar designs to your family of origin.
Aren’t we really good at recreating themes in every arena of our life? What a powerful way to insure that we’ll have LOTS of chances to evolve in one lifetime!!! Talk about Divine Order…yikes!
Awareness (and, of course, intention) can be all that’s necessary to shift and change energetic patterns and help us start on the process of re-telling ourselves our Truth. Once you become aware of patterns, it gets easier to make different choices.
We live in a dualistic Universe. Energies and patterns can be expressed on a continuum but at the end of the ribbon of energy there is one end or the other. While there can be gray in the middle of a “spectrum” of expression, at the end of the gray “spectrum” there is either black or white. Most “lies” have a truth that is the opposite of the lie. And it is usually in experiencing the “lie” that we create energetic alignment with the intention to bring forth the opposite experience.
Our “lies” are often very good at revealing the Truth of our heart’s desires. You can use your “lies” to help yourself create a different reality. Your “lies” can become pushing off points for evolution and clarity.
To do this, you have to start first with an awareness of what you desire to be your Truth.
Once you have identified what your Truth is, you can now make a list of your “lies” to help you see where you may need to make some deliberate changes in your choices.
Start by picking an area of your life that you’d like to bring into alignment with your Truth. Since it’s almost Valentine’s Day, let’s use an example about relationships.
Let’s say that your Truth is that you are a lovable, beautiful, partner who deserves to be cherished, valued, loved and honored exactly as you are.
Now make a list of all the “lies” you may have been allowing in the relationship part of your life.
Here are some of my “lies”, past and present:
- Men only want “one thing.” (And now that I’m older, I have nothing of value to offer a man…)
- Men are inconsistent and you have to always be prepared for the unexpected if a man is involved in the equation.
- Men leave. Sometimes they come back. Sometimes they don’t.
- Men hate commitment and being tied down. It’s not in their nature. We just have to accept them for who they are.
- Men aren’t responsible. They chase after their dreams and leave you with the “serious” work of life. A woman has to figure out how to live her dream while still fulfilling her obligations and responsibilities. A woman’s dream is her hobby.
- If you love a man enough, he will change for you, settle down, get a job, realize that you are The One…
- Your physical beauty is your most valuable asset.
- A woman is more capable than a man. But you have to keep it a secret from the man. You don’t want to hurt his ego.
(Aren’t these YUCKY?)
Using your understanding of the principles of duality, you can now use these “lies” to redefine your Truth.
Your new Truth List might look like this:
- I am an older, wiser woman and the right man will see the value of who I am and what I have to offer in a relationship. I celebrate my wisdom and the beauty that radiates out of me. My consciousness, my heart, my spirit and my Light are the true sources of my real beauty. I only allow people into my life who see these parts of the Truth of who I am.
- There are consistent men on this planet who are diligently dedicated to the growth and expansion of their own consciousness and live a life that reflects this evolutionary state of awareness. I’m looking forward to experiencing commitment with the right man.
- Some men commit strongly and enjoy and celebrate their commitments. I’m excited about having this kind of man in my life.
- See above.
- My dreams and the fulfillment of my life purpose is the most important part of the expression of the Truth of Me. I only attract people into my life who support me in this expression of myself.
- My love is strong and true. I commit to expressing my love with a man who shares my commitment to our relationship and to me.
- See number one.
- I celebrate my own capability and intend to attract and allow people who are of like-mind, passion and quality of energy. I serve myself, my Creator and my Divine Siblings by shining my light brightly for all to see!
These are just a few quick examples to help you see that awareness can give you a dramatic way to re-write your “lies” into Truth.
Of course, the next step is a little trickier. Once you have identified your Truth, you have to inventory your life and get real and honest with yourself about what you’ve been creating. You may discover that in order to live your Truth and bring it forth into form, you have to take some pretty dramatic actions to make space for your Truth to grow into your reality.
Are there situations in your life that you need to let go of? Where do you need to make room? Where do you need to speak your Truth? Where do you need to set clearer intentions and, sometimes, take courageous action to allow what you intend to experience?
As you move into action phase, remember that these actions can and must be taken with loving energy. This is not about rebellion, revenge or even a need to prove anything. Without your current “lies” you may never have discovered the Truth for yourself. Everything in your life that has brought you to this point has been in your life to serve you in some way. When you can deeply see the truth of this statement, positive change will hasten its way towards you at a breath-taking speed.
As you move into your new awareness, you will begin to see how to shift the “darker” expressions of the essence of who you are into higher expression and fulfill your Divine Potential.
If you want some extra support with this, join us for our next upcoming Master Alignment Program (MAP).
I hope this week brings you new insights into the “lie” you may be telling yourself and new ways for you to boldly explode those lie with compassion and gusto!
Have a great week!
From my Heart to Yours,