Recently I asked some of my clients what their greatest relationship challenge was. The answer, “hands down”, was communication.
Communication isn’t just about being heard or listening.
Good communication actually moves energy, relieves pressure, creates things and, of course, in our relationships, has the potential to bring us closer.
Good communication is a lot like sex and sleep. We think these things should come naturally, but in fact, knowledge and skills make sex, sleep AND communication better. And, just to make it a little more interesting, we don’t all have sex, sleep or communicate in the same way.
We each have our own relationship “DNA” – a unique energetic hard-wiring that influences how we act, what we need and how we best communicate in our relationships. (And, of course, our relationship “DNA” also influences our sexual needs, too…)
Many of us have consciously tried to improve our relationship skills. Maybe you’re read a couple of good relationship books or even taken some training about how to really hear your partner and be heard….
There are some well-revered formulas out there than can be somewhat effective.
But, these programs don’t take into consideration that we are all different and there is no one-size-fits-all formula for having a great relationship.
In fact, I don’t believe we should be using a single formula at all because, when you understand that each one of us is uniquely configured and has our own relationship “DNA” (your Human Design), we see that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to communication, relating, intimacy, love or sex.
Today I’m continuing our conversation on how to communicate with each Type by sharing a bit with you about the Generator Types.
There are two Generator Types, the pure Generator and the Manifesting Generator. These two Types comprise about 70% of the population so these are the most common kinds of people.
Generator Types are here to do the “work” of the world. Their theme in life is mastery and for the Generator Types, once they find the work that they love it’s hard to stop them. They are designed to practice and practice and practice as part of their path of mastery.
If a Generator Type does not find what they love to do in life, they can be frustrated, angry, eventually even depressed and resigned. A Generator Type needs something to “do” and they can often spin out into crazy cycle of trying everything and anything just to see if they can make something “go” in their lives.
Generators have a very deep and powerful intuitive energy that, when they know how to tune into it, gives them access to what is their authentic inner truth. We sometimes refer to the intuition of the Generator Type are our “gut feelings”.
(BTW, not everyone has “gut feelings”. We are all intuitive, but not everyone experiences intuition in the same visceral way that a Generator Type does.)
For Generator Types to truly know what to do, where to go, what they need and more, they have to know how to get out of their heads and to drop into that deep intuitive place that is the guiding force for the Generator Type.
The best way for Generator Types to access that intuition is by being asked yes/no questions and by responding to those questions with sounds, not words. The sounds that a Generator Type makes is Uh-huh and Un-uh.
It’s important that Generators don’t use words to respond to questions because their special intuitive “sounds” them out of their heads…
Like all people, the Generator is not designed to be told what to do.
And, like most people, the Generator has a tendency to try to communicate with their head instead of from their wise, intuitive “gut”.
If a Generator is given the chance to answer a yes/no question instead of an open-ended question and they’re allowed to answer with sounds instead of words, it feels soooooo good and true! Generator Types don’t really know what’s true for them if they answer any other type of question.
So, typically, we ask questions like, “How are you today?” or “What do you think you should do?” or “How do you feel about this?”
These are terrible questions for all Types but especially terrible questions for Generator Types and they may find that they don’t feel good after answering them because these open-ended kinds of questions really don’t allow them to access their truth and release any energy that they may have pent up inside of them.
Generators LOVE yes/no questions.
It takes a little retraining to learn to ask your Generator Beloved yes/no questions instead of the open-ended questions we’re used to using.
Here’s some sample questions that you can use to communicate clearly with your Generator Partner:
“Are you feeling happy tonight?”
“Are you feeling angry?”
“Do you know what you’re feeling angry about?”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Would it help if I asked you some questions?”
“Do you want to spend some time with me this evening?”
“Do you need some alone time?”
“Do you love your work?”
“Is it time to look for a new job?”
Sometimes, when you first start asking a Generator Type these kinds of questions, they are inclined to answer with a lot of words. If they do, then they’ve jumped back into giving you answers from their minds. Remind them to just answer with their intuitive sounds. The better you get at asking questions and the more they practice answering with sounds, the easier this process becomes.
Do this for your Generator Beloved and he/she will experience a deep sense of clarity and relief.
Experiment with it.
During the month of February, 2019 you have several opportunities to learn more about yourself, your relationship energy and how to be a better partner.
All Human Design Relationship Products and Courses are on sale: