HOW TO REFRAME YOUR STORY (BY HUMAN DESIGN) by Karen Curry Parker
I was chatting with a friend who is going through a particularly hard time right now.Her marriage fell apart two years ago and her husband is living in her basement.She’s struggling with depression, wants to “move on” with her life, initiate her divorce, but she’s afraid that she can’t “handle” the challenge of managing her life as a single mother with three small children.
As we were talking she mentioned (in a complain-y kind of way) that, on top of everything else, her Grandfather, who had just passed, had made her executor of his estate. My friend had been initially overwhelmed by all of the work of settling the estate, but, she realized there was no way around doing what needed to be done.She made the decision to just tackle a bit of it every day and now that she was at the end of the process, she was really feeling good about her ability to manage a project that she didn’t think she could “handle” just a few months earlier.
I told her that her Grandfather must have loved her very much to have given her the gift of such a huge project…that he had faith in her ability to discover just how much she could “handle”.
My friend looked at me like I was insane.
It wasn’t until a bit later in our conversation that I saw a light-bulb go off in her Heart and she realized that her experience with her Grandfather’s estate was a metaphor for her experience with her current situation with her husband. Maybe if she just tackled a piece of the challenge every day (the way she had tackled her Grandfather’s estate), she could discover how much she could actually “handle”.
The way we perceive our life events influences how we experience our lives and what we ultimately create in our reality.
This isn’t just woo woo stuff.This is science.
When you have a thought, it creates a photon (light) storm in your brain causing your brain to produce, in response, neurotransmitters.These neurotransmitters, in turn, create an emotional response.
Emotional energy is a “frequency” of energy.When we talk about a “high” or a “low” vibration, we are referring to the quality of emotional energy someone is holding.Positive emotions and thoughts create “high” vibrations and negative emotions and thoughts create “low” vibrations.
The quality of the vibration you are carrying is due to, in part, the stories you tell about yourself and your life.If you are carrying a story that causes you to feel badly about yourself, others or your life, you will create a photon storm in your brain that stimulates neurotransmitter production that will produce “yucky” emotions and a “low” vibe.
Obviously, the converse is true, too.
Because the brain is so beautifully designed to be efficient, as soon as you tell a story a couple of times, it begins to build a neuropathway, a kind of nerve “highway” that makes it easier and easier for you to have a repeated thought process without giving it conscious attention.
Neuropathways are why we can walk without thinking a lot about which foot we need to set down next.
This quality of efficiency, makes it a bit challenging sometimes to change the way we think about things and, of course, to change the nature of the stories we tell ourselves about our lives.
You can’t just “change your mind” through changing your thoughts.
It’s just not that simple.
There are two things you need to do to change the stories you’re telling about yourself.
- You need to have a fundamentally creative experience that reframes your story and gives you a new understanding of what your story really means to you.
- You need to begin to structure your outer reality to support you in maintaining the changes you make.
- Your finances
- Your relationships
- Your body
- Your life purpose/career/creative fulfillment
- Your connection to Source/Spirit/God
To have a fundamentally creative experience that reframes your story means that you have to get out of your head and your “reasoning” mind.To do that means that you have to engage in what I like to call “higher” order energies, such as self-care, relaxation, creativity and beauty.
When we let our outer reality bathe us in high-quality, nurturing experiences, we actually set the stage for our minds to receive epiphanies and transcendent awarenesses.Once we are relaxed, we can then begin the process of rewiring our thoughts.
The Human Design chart gives us clues as to how we can even deepen this process of creating new stories.The three Gates of the Head Center are associated with the Pineal Gland and are the “bridging” energies between our idea of “heaven” and “earth”.
We can use the themes of these Gates to help us leap-frog over our human understanding of our reality and our stories and tap into the infinite possibilities of the quantum field, pulling into our experience profound “ah-ha” moments that cause us to see our situation through a different lens.
Each one of these Gates gives us questions to work with to help us stimulate a different perspective – a different “point of view” and point of creation.
The Gate 64, the starting Gate of the right side of the brain, encourages us to look at our stories and ask, “What is the ‘story’ I’m telling about my life”? Just recognizing our stories is often enough for us to begin to analyze the silent internal conversations we’re having with ourselves.
What kinds of stories are you telling yourself about the following areas of your life:
Are these stories making you feel good? Or lousy? What kind of emotional frequency do you think these stories are generating in you?
The Gate 63, the starting Gate of the logical, left side of the brain. It carries the energy of doubt and suspicion, begging of us to prove whether the story we are telling can be proven to be true (or not).The Gate 63 demands facts and patterns to verify whether what we are telling ourselves is valid.
Sometimes to see that our stories are bogus, we have to see the story from a different point of view.Take my friend’s story, for example.Was she really “incapable” as she was telling herself or did her life’s actions show her a different truth?
Go back to the stories you just explored above. Are they really true? Are there valid patterns in your story? Is there a different perspective you can examine, more evidence, that might cause you to reframe your story?
Lastly, sometimes stepping back from the story and seeing a bigger picture of how the story is unfolding in your life gives you the ability to tell a new, more empowering story. If you live on this planet long enough, you come to realize that hindsight is a great perspective and sometimes our greatest “tragedies” turn out to be the most expansive catalysts for our growth and evolution.
When I got divorced, I was left with full-time custody and full-time financial support of my children. For many years I was bitter about this situation. It took some time and distance from the situation for me to see that the circumstances surrounding my divorce were actually powerful catalysts for me to become who I am today. I doubt I ever would have discovered the depth of my power, my focus and my capacity without being forged in the fires of being forced to be extremely self-reliant.I am deeply grateful for the lessons and even for my ex-husband because I truly feel that, on a soul level, he set this up for me to help me grow.
The Gate 61 asks us to evaluate our story from a bigger perspective and to find the blessings and the lessons in the experience instead of being stuck in the rationalizing and settling for less that what we deserve.
You can use these story-changing questions to explore new perspectives and ways of seeing the situation you’re currently in.These bigger understandings can actually shift your point of creation, change your story and even change your brain chemistry to give you a path to improve your vibration and, ultimately, your life.
To anchor these changes you also have to change your outer reality.
The famous motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, once said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most amount of time with.There is a certain truth in that.
To continue to anchor the changes in your story you have to also change your outer environment in order to avoid re-triggering the old neuropathways of your mind.
Take stock of who and what you place in your life. Is your outer reality supporting you in reframing your life? Are you creating a community of open-minded, supportive people who are cheering you on as you begin to launch yourself in a brand new way?
Are your daily habits sustaining you? Are you creating a life-style that allows you to grow and thrive?
Part of why I create community classes instead of just plain teaching is because I know you grow and evolve faster and with greater ease when you have a community that celebrates and supports you.This might feel like a baby step but every step is a vital part of momentum.
If you haven’t done so, be sure to reach out to others and ask for support and help as you rewrite your old stories.Find the people who see the True Story of Who You Are and allow them to mirror back to you how glorious and amazing you are.
It might take some time but engage in this process with the awareness that you are not only changing the stories you tell about your life, you’re changing your life.
You’re worthy of telling stories about how great and good you are.